Mistress Metamorphosis

January 15, 2013 Leave a comment

1. Metamorphosis, (in an insect or amphibian) The process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages.

2. A change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means.

When I started my blog I was an unattached single girl who without trying entertained my friends with the tales of my dirty dating laundry. My experiences as a single girl have placed me in some very interesting situations, many of which are shared here. If you ask me the theme of my blog, what’s the purpose or why do I write, my response will probably be,“to share the tales, woes, and dreams of a single girl existing!”

Our connection was centrifugal but platonic, we’ve always had a great bond but we had never crossed the line. It only took one moment, one kiss and one drunken night to change everything. I was too excited to know what I was truly getting into. I knew the obvious, he was married, I was single, and our bond was forbidden. Initially, I justified and excused our actions because we were drunk, and it wasn’t as if we planned this random kiss. But THIS KISS, this kiss was the beginning of my metamorphosis. Justifying the one lonely kiss made it easier to justify secret lunch dates, secret rendezvous, and of course secret hush money & gifts.  All evidence of the metamorphosis, yet I was completely oblivious of my change.

In my experience (and of course it’s FIRST HAND experience) I find it’s so much easier to compare the metamorphosis of a mistress to the manic episodes of a bipolar individual. There are the manic episodes of extreme highs succeeded by the depths of extreme lows. The trips, dates, room service and just because gifts all make me feel like “his girl” the only one who understands him, the one he speaks to without speaking words. In this moment I am beyond happy, and I feel so very powerful, but my bliss is short lived and always followed by the inevitable….

The Lows…haunted by the truth, and held hostage by my thoughts, I’m at my lowest point when I am alone with my thoughts. Thoughts filled with doubt questioning my moral compass, and my self esteem. Not only am I alone with my thoughts, but I am alone, not busy with other dates, or social events; alone because he & I will never be together. When everything shinny disappears and the façade of our relationship fades, reality remains, I am the mistress and the unspoken secret affair. We can’t talk, touch or go out when we want, and the most obvious of all is that he will always leave me. I knew that we when we first kissed, but sadly it’s starting to affect my emotions.

As hypocritical, self righteous human beings we’ve been pre-programmed to judge regardless of facts, we simply judge. I know this, because I’ve done it countless times. So as I position myself in a less than respectable role, I too question the dynamic of the affair. How can someone allow their spouse or “lover” to make them an option?

Why you are okay with being the option? And most importantly, why do you feel so powerful in those selfish moments where you give all of you, and he only gives what he can, because he can not get caught!

I can’t help it, it’s the natural flow of transforming into a mistress, I DO feel powerful as his mistress. I like that I know what he likes, what he truly wants, and that can I feed his carnal appetite in ways she could only imagine. But…

WTF am I talking about, I have truly been mesmerized by his bribes, and fallen deaf to the alarm! It’s been a year since we started things, and still, he’s isn’t ready to end things. He is so arrogant, he demeans the men I date, tells me I need to date better guys all as if he is my Prince Charming. The crazy part about it all, is that he actually means these things. Although, genuine, he fails to realize I am his mistress, his sentiment on my dating life and patterns are null in void for I am simply his mistress & secret lover. I ignore his “concern” as a deaf person ignores the fire alarm, for I know it’s just the hypocritical tangent of self righteous man who is not ready to let go of his secret lover.

He’s changed me, well, maybe I’ve changed me. This whole affair has changed me..I’m not here to pretend as if I am some pure virgin, or the Mother Mary, but I am far more jaded than before.  As I decide to truly walk away from him I can’t help but realize I will never be the same. Part of me would love to continue this affair and ignore everything I know to be right, but I know that nothing good can from our actions. I once watched Unfaithful starring Richard Grier, Diane Lane & Oliver Martinez. Oliver & Lane found themselves in a heated erotic affair which ended in the death of Oliver by her husband, Grier. I often think of how I’d hate to have such a tragic ending, and I should get out while the getting is good.  We’ve been here before, The Last Hurrah, but now I am truly ready to walk away. I know regardless of when I end things, my transgressions will always affect me & and at some point I will pay for my sins. But till then I’ll pray to be a better person, and to be stronger than I was before.

XOXO

LANA

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Social Media: Turn Your Social Media Skills into a Career

December 26, 2012 Leave a comment

This is an article I wrote for a writers Forum:

“If you do something you love, it won’t feel like you’re working.” We’ve all heard this cliché phrase at least once in our lives, I’m sure. But let’s face it, translating what you love to do into a fulfilling career while obtaining financial stability; is not as easy as it seems.

How can you, a recent grad, make money partying every Thursday, and then live to tell? We all know as college grads, we not only enjoy leisurely sifting through our feeds on Facebook, Instagram, Tadaa, and Pheed , but we LOVE IT!!!! And if being a social media junky is what you love, I’m sure as tech savvy, and intelligent college graduate, you’ll transition your love into a career worth working.

Indeed recently shared their Job Trend’s Graph, analyzing the growth for job technology search terms over the last six years. Indeed found that not only was the term, “Social Media” used often in job postings, but it was the winner overall with 1.5% growth, out growing terms like Mobile App and HTML5.

So, how do you do it? This is where I introduce, innovative professor, Larry Gee, of San Jose State University. His program is called, “The Great Mind Challenge”, where students realize the correlation between their social media skills and the benefits they poses for a company’s growth.

Granted many of you have completed your B.A and need a job with income fast, if that’s the case, definitely check out this article, HOW TO: Use Your Social Media Skills to Earn Extra Money. The author shares tips like, working for free, define your service, and land a paying client as a road map to achieve success.

Basically, if you want to turn your Facebook snooping into a full on career, you’ll need to explore the world of Social Media, learn the ways of SEO, and hit the pavement hard! But remember, be patient and be humble, for you’re just a dot in the pixel, and are still creating your landing page.

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I’m pretty sure my soul mates Republican…

November 7, 2012 Leave a comment

Phew, thank God, Allah, Buddha, and the Messiah finally, the election is over! Always having interest in politics, I’ve followed every Presidential Election since I was a child, but for some reason this election was exhausting; and I wasn’t even campaigning. Like most years the airwaves were polluted with politically slanted advertising, generally entertaining when your sardonically critical opinions are share with your spouse, but what does one do when their spouse is the enemy, a supporting and active affiliate of the Republican Party?

Thankfully, my relationship with the Liberal Republican (if there’s such a thing) was short, our relationship ended a week before the election, and let’s face it, although Republican he was disgusted with Romney. That being said, his disgust for Romney had not altered his “Obama is a Socialist” mindset, but it did reassure me he was smart enough to know Romney was an idiot, so THERE IS HOPE!

He wasn’t the first Republican I ever dated, but he was the first I considered dating seriously, and the only Republican I considered a potential life partner.  That being said, my dating history lead me to believe it’s inevitable; my soul mate is a Republican.

“Can A Democrat Love a Republican”  explores why a woman Democrat would date a Republican, and Helen Fisher, anthropologist and author of Why We Love  finds our “love-map”  from which we’ve subconsciously built since childhood dictates the qualities we admire most, and most importantly those are dictated by qualities and values held by our parents and close family. Explaining why the author of the article was born into a Republican family, turned Democrat, and fell in love with a Republican!

Cover of "Why We Love: The Nature and Che...

XOXO

LANA

http://www.yourtango.com/20083033/mr-right-vs-ms-left/page/2

http://boards.askmen.com/showthread.php?81019-Dating-a-Democrat-vs-Republican

http://www.more.com/relationships/dating-sex-love/democrat-dating-republican-can-it-last

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120210135613AA5qmR3

http://daily-download.com/dumbest-post-omg-im-dating-a-republican/

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UNHAPPILY MARRIED, THE NEW SINGLE!

November 2, 2012 2 Comments

I love my job and most of my colleagues, we are an eclectic bunch, but I guess that’s to be expected at an internet company. Needless to say, I absolutely adore my account manager, JP, whom I affectionately call Suri, because of her astonishing knowledge of some of the most useless useful information.Today, Suri shared the details of an article on LAIST.com, “L.A. Ranks Number One in Mistresses Per Capita” Because of my experiences, and the run-ins with married men, I immediately laughed out, good Ol’ tinsel town making the top of the list, beating out cities like Dallas, Washington, DC, and West Palm Beach.

The fact that we made the list is compelling in itself, but now let’s look at the granular data, let’s focus on the one city in all of LA that has the high percentage of mistresses. Do you know what city? Come on, guess! Okay, I’ll tell you, it’s the 90210! Yes, our buddies in Bev Hills have the most mistresses than any other city, I’m sure Camille of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills will attest.

So what differentiates Los Angeles from other cities? First I’m going to say most people in Los Angeles are not native of the state, so they definitely aren’t Los Angelenos at heart. But the founder of AshleyMadison.com points out that LA is unlike any other city in the USA. Most people here, especially women have hopes of a successful career and aren’t solely focused on starting a family, so it’s easier to date someone successful who already has a family. Reading the article, and reflecting on my relationship/affair w. Lover, I immediately thought of a piece I wrote a year ago titled, “Unhappily Married, it’s the new single.” It was quick dive into some of the excuses I hear from married men, and the rationality they use to persuade. Here is the article below:

“As a single girl, a social gal, a lady who enjoys happy hours, I find myself victim of some of the cheesiest one liners, the lamest single guys, and my new favorite, “The Unhappily Married!” Right? Yes, you read it correctly, people have actually created a new relationship status, use it as a pick-up line. They rationalize their Unhappily Married, and are sure their wives won’t mind.”I hear the chatter, I laugh, and I politely decline, but honestly what is a girl really to do? It’s almost as if people believe because the prefix to “Married” is “Unhappily” that it will make me that more interested. “Please, don’t flatter yourself!” Regardless if you are happy or unhappy, I will continue to reject your advances, but yes, I will definitely accept your drinks! “Thank you sir!”I feel as if I want to call the wives of the “Unhappily Married,” introduce myself, share my story, proceed to disclose every sorted, vile, disrespectful, tasteless, ill-mannered comment, that their husband has made about them, and then, wish her luck w. her pig of a husband.All I’m saying is this, 30 may be the new 20 and 40 the new 30, but by no means is “Unhappily Married” the new single. And by the way, if you’re running around acting as if it is the new single, you’re a horrible excuse for a human being, and more importantly you are the reason I’m debating polyamory. :-) lol”

After reading this article I can’t help but feel guilty, hypocritical, and fake, for I have partaken in an unholy relationship, and LIKED it! Regardless of my involvement with Lover, I am enthralled with the “Unhappily Married who date” trend. I have ended my relationship with Lover, but I wonder if he’s used the “Unhappily Married” line with anyone else.

XOXO

LANA

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I’d Be Lying

November 1, 2012 Leave a comment

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad, upset, hurt or felt defeated, and that although confident, I too feel the pain of a failed relationship. I too question myself, what I did, could I have done something different, and what am I doing wrong. It’s tough, I didn’t expect to fall for someone, but most importantly I didn’t expect to fall for that someone.

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t wondered why he lied Monday, or that I wasn’t hoping he’d call  after his son’s band practice. I’ve questioned myself, why did he let the entire day pass on Tuesday, and say absolutely nothing? How do we go from, “happy-go-lucky” life is good, we are moving toward commitment, to now, him not being compelled enough to call or text?

I’d not only be lying, but it would also be a big pile of malarkeyy (as Joe Biden would say) if I said I hadn’t  re-read the last set of text in trying to decipher his hidden code. What was he saying? When he said, “That’s the Plan” did he really mean it? Did he have intentions of seeing me Sunday? I know from our past issues he’s the type to shut-down, the taciturn type, but after the last few months, the birthday, sleepovesr, and daily routine; I did not expect such an abrupt end to what seemed to be a balanced relationship. WTF, rereading text as if I’ll find answers only he can give me, but can he really?

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, and that his MUTATION hasn’t hurt my lil heart. I guess he isn’t  who I thought he was, and in that case there’s no point in me caring. I do not doubt his feelings for me, or that he cares/cared about me, but I do question his character. I understand there is never enough time to do everything you want in one day, but I for fact know sending a text, or a quick call takes less the 10 seconds. That being said, I guess his lack of communication should be the only variable that I take in account, and should be enough for me to realize, he isn’t worth my time.

I’d be lying if  I didn’t admit that part of me of is relieved the relationship is over, because now I no longer need to be understanding of “Divorced Dad Issues” Now that’s he’s out of my life, I don’t need to be supportive, empathetic, or patient with his situation. I really do care for him, and my want to support him is genuine, and sincere, but when someone doesn’t want your support, you can only bow out gracefully, and continue on your path!

The only way to move forward is to be honest with yourself, and being honest with myself, mean’s I will undoubtedly give you the same honesty, my truth! So what’s the truth? The truth is I’m SAD, ANGRY, and Glum, the guy I like has managed to push me out of his life two times within 3 months, he’s sold me a fairytale dream, and now he’s as ghost, as the Ghost of Christmas Past. He’s unresponsive to my text, and has done nothing to reassure me, beg me, commiserate, condole, just simply relieve my anxiety, instead he’s become more aloof, and made it impossible to excuse his behavior and continue with the relationship.

So no, I’m not going to lie, BREAK UPS SUCK, but I’ll be okay, I ALWAYS AM!

XOXO

Lana

 

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It’s Over, I think!

October 29, 2012 3 Comments

I can’t remember the last time I felt this way, where I actually thought I had found someone I could commit. Granted, the guy I’m smitten over isn’t my “dream” guy, and our situation isn’t what I envisioned for my “Happily ever After”, but the traits, and the character of this man makes him my perfect match. I think

I’ll admit I moved incredibly fast with this relationship, well not just me, he too moved incredibly fast with this relationship. It went from introduction, to seduction, followed by copulation, but always filled with adoration, and appreciation for the little piece of “normalcy” we shared. It’s not just a hit-it & quit-it, fly by night hook-up, but there so much more here, and it’s obvious in everything we do. I think

WTF, three kids? Not one, not two, but three, three Littles to call his own. I was absolutely thrown for a loop; of course his introduction was filled with stories of his Littles. And I could see it in his eyes, he wasn’t the weekend dad, or the angry ex, but he actually took pride in his title as Father, and he lived for those experiences. I’ve always said I COULD NEVER DATE A MAN WITH KIDS, but then I met Lovey, and it was because of his kids, that I DATE A MAN WITH KIDS. His gentleness, his silliness, his eagerness to provide & protect, and his focus on mentoring, and nurturing, all why I find myself head over hills, and falling for him. But with all these positive attributions, I fear he can’t love us all, he can’t balance his many hats, and play his many roles, and of course, the role he play’s in my life, will be the role obliterated. I think

For those of you who personally know me, you know I just had birthday in early October. My birthday is one of my favorite days of the year, I hold this day so high, and I often call it a National Holiday. That being said, my bday hype was definitely shared with Lovey, and as my Lovey, it was up to him to make sure I had an amazing birthday. I say “Make Sure” as if it was his responsibility, but it wasn’t, and although it wasn’t, he still did an amazing job at honoring my day, shopping, dinner, hotel, and bottomless drinks for my girls. And that night, as we lay in bed, he shared his feelings, and his hopes for our relationship, and I believed every word, and still believe every word, BC to me his, word is GOLDEN! I think

So now we sit post the birthday, a little over 3 weeks, and I don’t know what I believe. I find myself accepting broken promises, missed dates, and the lack of communication because he’s with his Littles. I feel guilty because I want to see him, but can’t, because he unexpectedly had to pick up his Littles. He said there are only three things that matter, “work, kid’s, you” but I always feel as if I’m more of an option, especially these last two weeks. I’ve kept a packed bag in my car just in case he has time to see me, I’ve had anxiety attacks because I’ve been overwhelmed with emotion, and more than anything, I feeling like a failure. I think

So at 3am I called him, I wanted to disturb, upset, and alter his state of comfort just as he has done mine. I wanted him to feel the wrath of neglected me, and to know I wasn’t to be toyed with. So I made demands to pick my things up today after work, when he said, “he’d call me this morning”, “I replied don’t worry-I’ll pick my stuff up” I repeated this until he was so angry he cursed, then I hung up. Finally! Emotion! Finally, my being upset has upset him, but wait, I didn’t want this, I just want to spend time with him, and I didn’t want to upset him! Now I’m at work, forced to work under emotional conditions, and still wait for his call, his text, his attention. I think

XOXO Lana

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Two Roads, Two Men, One Girl

September 24, 2012 Leave a comment

Life is full of decisions, and at some point you must mature, and make life choices that are conducive to your life plan, which can be difficult when living in today’s “I want it all” society!

He wants to see me again, and more than anything I want to see him. Since our last visit I’ve struggled, I’ve been an emotional wreck and have yet to truly recover. I secretly yearn to be with him and our separation was as painful as the Sandra Bullock & Jesse James separation. http://www.etonline.com/news/112832_The_10_Most_Shocking_Breakups_in_Hollywood/

Granted there are some major flaws in our relationship, flaws I’ve overlooked, and have even justified. But as I move forward, and the elements of this relationship, or affair, or whatever this is have progressed, I can’t help but question if our relationship is destiny filled or a sinners paradise.

I’ve spent most of the relationship overlooking the major issues of our relationship. I convinced myself we both deserve to be happy, and we make each other happy. I even believed my salacious rhetoric about polyamory so much, I abandoned my deep-rooted faith and morals.

As I contemplate what’s best for me, the promising relationship w. Lovey, and what I truly desire, I can’t help but think of Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken, the last three lines read (http://www.poetryfoundation.org)

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference

And that’s what I wanted to do, and at this point that’s what I’ve done.  My recent look into his life has only intensified my shame, and made me face the tough realities. No blessings will come my way as I continue to deny the only truth I know, which is this relationship is wrong, our foundation is built on lies, lust and licentious behavior. And people count on us, trust us, and depend on us.

If the nature of our relationship was revealed, it would ruin our separate lives and of course end any possibility of remaining friends. As I sit writing this blog, I’m on a plane. Knowing there’s much needed business to handle once landed, but fearful of the boundaries I must set for those who’ve yet to encounter such boundaries.

He’s not going to be happy, and he’ll try to coerce me into his web again, but I’ve finally found a man I truly trust, and see a promising, budding future with. I can’t hurt him, I can’t hurt people’s children, and I most definitely can’t hurt myself. So like my girl Taylor Swift says, “We are Never, Ever, Ever, getting back together” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA4iX5D9Z64)

 

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The Lies They Tell

July 31, 2012 1 Comment

I think it’s safe to say everyone’s at their best behavior in the beginning, I too am guilty of laying the charm on real thick, but there’s a thin line between charm, and blatantly lying, exaggerating, and not being yourself. I date men, so I can only speak on the men I date, and their disingenuous attempt to impress me with manners, chivalry, and vagarious personalities, but in reality you’re not even scratching the surface; you know them not!
I say this because being a serial dater, I’ve met some of the most well behaved, generous, affectionate, attentive, genuine LIARS then most do in a lifetime!!! Yes, I said it, liars. The lies they tell, the dreams they sell, all unnecessary but it’s oh so prevalent in the dating game. I know the first impression is really the only impression, but I’m pretty sure I’ll notice the transition  from A+ Lover, to douche bag F! So why then, do people pretend to be someone they are not, as if I’ll disregard your sudden change in behavior, and be even more interested? UMMM NOT!
For the most part, I tend to date guys who are honest, forthcoming, and genuine, but every once in a while I’ll run into the guy who just doesn’t get it. Its like:
  • He’s the type to sell you the dream, the big house on the hill, 2.5 kids, a dog, maybe even a bird, but then you find out he’s already married?…UMMM IDK if this is gonna work!
  • He shares the most amazing stories you actually want to be there, but then you realize his stories are from 1987, and ummmm your glory years are over sir!!!
  • He’ll promise he wants more than a booty call, tired of the random dates, heartless women, so you attempt to be sweeter & open up more than usually, but then you realize his actions speak volumes that his words merely pierced. ummmm can’t fool me, I see you’re full of……!!!
  • He always has such high accolades to share about his exes, you find that endearing, at least he respects women even those of  failed relationships, I can respect that, but then he goes on to tell you all the horrible things they’ve done, and why he let them go. Ummmm didn’t you just say she was really talented, but now she’s a money hungry whore? ummmm I don’t know if you, uhhhh, I don’t know about…idk…lol….
  • Anybody whose anybody, he knows them! It’s as if he has more followers then Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, and Rihanna, but then you realize with all his connections what does he really have to show for it! Ummmm since you know (insert famous persons name here) do you think we can do something besides hang out at your tasteless, inelegant establishments & BE ABOUT THAT LIFE? I’m just saying….

So as you see, it’s not as if I am angry about the lies they tell, if anything I find it all entertaining. The thought of sitting across from someone insecure, unsure, and unsatisfied with themselves is sad, but funny, it’s a damn shame people aren’t confident enough to be who they are. Although when dating, I am always in CHARACTER, I do buffer my character with  hints of me. You may not know my deepest thoughts, fears, or what makes me cry but I will share my ambitions, goals, and experiences. I will be as real as a first date allows you, but I will always be in Character without the show.  Because no matter what be yourself, but don’t be a fool!

XOXO

Lana

The following articles helped mold my thoughts that inspired this post. Check em out, pretty interesting.

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Goodbye, to the Best I Ever Had! (RIP LOVER LIASONS)

July 16, 2012 Leave a comment

John Legend~Get Lifted

John Legend~Get Lifted (Photo credit: bamalibrarylady)

John Legends, “Tonight (Best You Ever Had)” plays in the background, he hums the chorus, as his fingers caress, and explore my body.  I know he is probably the best I ever had, not because he’s the most creative, but because when together, this isn’t the occasional frisson, but consistent passion intensified by every motion.

It was that mercurial transition from platonic friends to lustful lovers that’s landed me here, and I never planned to care this much.  I always felt I was in control of my emotions, and this was just another wild & crazy adventure, but when we decided to go our separate ways, the feelings quickly emerged,  and fond thoughts of  Vegas trips, fine dining, shopping,  and hotel exploring quickly  filled my heart, and soul; and I was not ready for “goodbye”

We don’t have a lot of time for one another, and our rendezvous are well planned, military orchestrated events that one anticipates for weeks.  Now, just ending one of these rendezvous, one we’ve titled, “The Last Hurrah,” I can’t help but feel sad. I thought walking away from him would be as simple as walking towards him, but I did not expect walking away to feel like I was being ripped from his arms, only to watch him disappear into dusk.

Unlike most of my Suitors, his loving is addicting, his charm infectious, and our love making is intense, but still, with all those incentives, there’s still a white elephant in the room, and that white elephant is “Guilt!”

Although we have a profound connection, and in a perfect world, we would be together; we live in this world. And in this world, his life, my life, and our bond is enigmatic logic. However “simple” I may assume things to be, the reality of our situation admonishes any of my predilections for him.  And at some point in one’s life, you must place the emotions of others before your own carnal pleasures.

That being said, I am not perfect, I have yet to figure it out. But on this day, I’m making a vehement attempt to dissolve our imperceptible bond, right our wrongs, and live up to admirable standards. I’m not sure if we’ll continue to go our separate ways, but he will always be my LOVER, the best I ever had, my partner in crime.

XOXO

LANA

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When is enough, enough? Creating a Masterpiece…

July 10, 2012 Leave a comment

It seems as if no matter how many guys I add to MY STABLE, I always need more.  I’m starting to think I truly am insatiable, and that alone is scary. But, really, what am I to do.

I want to first make it very clear, although a guy is in MY STABLE, he is not someone I sleep with. Being in my STABLE, merely allows the opportunity to take me out & contact me regularly, as oppose to my RANDOMS, which in itself is telling. They are RANDOMS, and have yet to prove they are STABLE material. Yea, I know, I have really defined this.

Anyways, my point is this, MY current STABLE is not dreary, but it is somewhat mundane.  The dates are enjoyable, sleepovers delightful, but after that, there’s nothing more than routine text to keep them in line. LOL. Modern day pimp here, yes I am.  No, I’m  not, I am no pimp; I am just a young, single girl, who dates, dates a lot!

I thought my DOLL would be my new addiction, I assumed our chemistry would suffice, and I’d not want another.  But with busy schedules, and shiny things distracting me, I am starting to believe he is just like the rest.

There’s LOVER, who makes me smile with just one text, but I’ve opened up a can of worms here, that is nothing short of DISASTROUS . It would seem, I’ve found the one most immoral guy, and have decided he would be my partner in crime. How perfect! RIGHT!

I think I like the excitement , honestly. The endless possibilities is like a painters  blank canvas, I am master of my destiny, and I shall create one hell of a masterpiece. And as I create this masterpiece,  I guess I’ll date as many colors, and hues, till I find my work of art is complete, and only then will I hang it on that special guys wall.

XOXO

LANA

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White is Right, well, right for dating that is!!

June 7, 2012 1 Comment

The feelings immediately returned as I saw him on the cover of Esquire. There he was, older, more distinguished than ever, and he is very much my quintessential definition of a sexy bald white man.  I thought, “OMG! I love me some him, especially when bald.” I mean he is the white one who started it all.

At the early age 7 or 8, I watched Die Hard for the first time, and was immediately smitten. Bruce Willis, then a young coming of age actor, was the first white man I ever LOVED! Just a young girl, but still very much beguiled by the distinguished, dominant, and of course HANDSOME Detective John McClane.

My infatuation with Bruce Willis, President Clinton, Sean Connery, and Leonardo DiCaprio, was the beginning of a long life fixation with older white men. I’m often asked, why such a crush? Older? White? Really? But, yea, really people! I find some older white men attractive. I am not sure why, but I am for sure positive of the when, and it happened early on in life, while watching Die Hard, listening to Clinton, and watching Sean Connery in Goldfinger, I was hooked then, but never imagined it would be a life long indee fixe. It even followed me to high school, where I had a crush on the football coach, lol!

Now don’t misunderstand me, I am OBSESSED with older white men, but I have dated black men, Persians, Egyptians, and Spanish guys, but there is something about a sexy white guy, that gets me EVERY TIME! Growing up you realize not everyone shares your interracial sentiment, and sometimes the boys you like, just aren’t ready for this C0C0LOV3..But as an adult, they understand, the appreciate, and are somewhat fixated in the contrast of my yummy, rich, c0c0 complexion, and their ”Vanilla” complexion. (Vanilla a diminutive form of “vaina” (meaning “sheath“), which is in turn derived from Latin ”vagina“) – WHICH I FIND VERY FITTING!!

Non the less, when I saw that cover of Esquire it captivated me, and sent me back 15 years, when it all just begun. Now many years later, I still revere sexy older white men, and have dated my fair share! I often reminisce of little loquacious Lana, and my school girls crushes on big Hollywood stars, boy,  has time changed. I never imagined a school girl crush, or interest would become a life long predilection, but I am definitely okay with it. And, will continue to date incredulously, till the RIGHT WHITE ONE, bc sometimes in life, WHITE IS RIGHT!!

xoxo

Lana

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Two’s Company, Three’s A Crowd..(Ménage à trois or Ménage à Naw….)

May 24, 2012 Leave a comment

It was NBA All-Stars Weekend 2011, Hollywood was buzzing with events, SBE had parties going on everywhere, and me, well, I was just trying to celebrate my girls birthday. Now, we all know I can’t stand the club, but after all it was my girls 25 birthday, All-Star weekend, and I couldn’t justify missing bottle popping, table dancing, and pure debauchery.  Unfortunately, the A clubs were beyond capacity, and when we ended up at an “B/C-“ Urban club,  Eden, I highly doubted the chances of meeting a potential suitor, but  boy was I wrong.

The fact that I am single is evidence enough there was no love at first sight spotting, but instead a coquettish game of cat and mouse between myself and an older gentlemen. Through the booty popping, head banging, and drink spilling, he was able to make his way to our table to introduce himself. That was night one, which lead to a number of months where we  checked out movies, had mediocre  dinners, relaxed & bathed in his ornate marble Jacuzzi,  and even had really, really, lascivious sex! Yes, lascivious sex!   But that was it! We were great friends, shared secrets, family woes, and work drama, but we could not move past his Oldie, “grumpy old men” routine, or, my “Player of the year” plan. I’m sure it was both,  and a little of the random humping I do in my sleep, that has kept many awake, and left them wondering, and beseeching,  “was she dreaming of sex?” lol

As quick as the romance began, it quickly ended.  It was what the media calls, “irreconcilable difference but things ended amicable.”  Lol.  We were friends, we weren’t angry, bitter, or sad; we knew there was no room for growth, and nowhere to go, and that’s just A-OKAY! So, it’s been almost a year now, we’ve continued to chat, email, & Facebook. We share information about dates, relationships, and work. The only aspect of our relationship that has changed has been our sexual carnal. Well, I thought he was fine. I thought he had no interest in taking our relationship anywhere besides friends zone, till he suggested a 3some, yea, I said a Ménage à trois! Well, being the bored, insatiable girl that I am, I tuned in, and considered his request! And, when he mentioned his attractive, well-built buddy I met at a game once, I was very much intrigued. I am by no means a licentious whore, but I do like to have a good time. Oldie’s request placed me in a buoyant mood, since I’ve been reading  the Fifty Shades of Grey  trilogy, and exploring the world of S&M,  I am constantly in arrant exacerbation, and I needed to be in a place of arrant….Master E. Bation! J  Or something!

I sardonically considered Oldies request,  and classified it as nothing more than,  an end of the life crisis, an old man looking for his kicks, and honestly, I am no circumspect, boring chick, I live on the edge, I take risk, and if Ben was going to be there; I too would be there! I politely acquiesced, and shared my intentions to meet Ben. Oldie suggested this would be a great way to meet, and we’d all just see where things go….So, this is where I stand, days before my “something new,” and I am ready to write about it…..

Stay Tuned…

X0X0

LANA

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Fifty Shades of OH YAY..(will the REAL Christian Grey please stand up!)

May 10, 2012 2 Comments

A man handcuffed to a bed and blindfolded

A man handcuffed to a bed and blindfolded (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“He grabs me suddenly and yanks me up against him, one hand at my back holding me to him and the other fisting in my hair.
“You’re one challenging woman,” He kisses me, forcing my lips apart with his tongue, taking no prisoners.
“It’s taking all my self-control not to fuck you on the hood of this car, just to show you that you’re mine, and if I want to buy you a fucking car, I’ll buy you a fucking car,” he growls.”
― E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

I’ve been beguiled by Fifty Shades of Grey. I mean, did you not read my opening; you too would be beguiled if you were reading. I was introduced to the book by a Master of my life, he shared how “this book” turned his otherwise arid wife into a mercurial sexual creature intrigued and willed to partake in a more hedonistic, & less vanilla sex life. Like most trends, the media has sensationalized the book, The View, 20/20  segment  & the most hilariously written SNL Parody.

E.L James is not verbose in her writing & I mean that in both a good & bad way. I will be honest and agree with the nay-sayers; of course not the most eloquently written read, but Fifty is definitely a supernal read.The story was written by James after her fanatic Twilight stage & right before her mid-life crisis-I need more stage. This steamy story filled with hints of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM) follows the relationship between recent college graduate, Anastasia (Ana) Steele, and wealthy not so much older business mogul, Christian Grey.

Ana is young and naive, she’s only been kissed twice, had 0 boyfriends & yes, SHE IS A VIRGIN. While falling for Christian and his dark yet affectionate wilds, she learns in order to truly make him happy & have any chance of being his girl, she must submit. This young taciturn girl must learn she is amenable, and she can be the Submissive to Christian’s Dominate. The young, controlling Grey is so intense he actually demands his Sub sign a nondisclosure agreement before embarking on their unexpected journey.

I decided on the audiobook for a couple reasons, but mostly because I just didn’t want to read the book. I’m very pleased with my decision, it’s allowed me a few freedoms, one being my hands, the other my mind. And, as I listen intently following the story, I cannot help but to be aroused. There’s something about the breathy voice of the narrator- I love it. It’s make the book that much more EROTIC. Although sensual, her attempt at male, foreign & southern tones & accents- leaves much to be desired.

I swear, reading this book has awakened my senses, and provided clarity for what it is I truly seek. As previously mentioned in earlier post, I’ve had a few lovers, and a few of those lovers have introduced exploits I never imagined. The joy of not knowing, the excitement of a new relationship, a strong new beau; this is Fifty Shades of Grey; this is truly what I seek. As I lose my self in the voice of the narrator, I find myself wishing I was her, almost jealous I’ve yet to find my Grey. What the heck?  Where is my Grey!!

“His head turns fractionally toward me, his eyes darkest slate. I bite my lip.
“Oh, fuck the paperwork,” he growls. He lunges at me, pushing me against the wall of the elevator. Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in one of his in a vice-like grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his hips. Holy shit. His other hand grabs my ponytail and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine. It’s only just not painful. I moan into his mouth, giving his tongue an opening. He takes full advantage, his tongue expertly exploring my mouth. I have never been kissed like this.”
― E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“He’s naked except for those soft ripped jeans, top button casually undone. Jeez, he looks so freaking hot. My subconscious is frantically fanning herself, and my inner goddess is swaying and writhing to some primal carnal rhythm.”
― E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

These are the words, the art that’s opened my eyes to something I want. I have no choice but to actively search for him, I want to find Christian Grey, I want to meet a real life Grey. But where does one find such a man? Are there open markets for Dom lovers? Do I join another crazy dating site? Or, is this something one just falls into, as Ana fell in Grey’s office?

Although I am not as naive as Ms. Steele, I am just as open yet scared to be molded into a fun, loving, sensual Sub, And, to do that, I will need, a real life Christian Grey.

So, WILL THE REAL CHRISTIAN GREY PLEASE STAND UP!

XOXO

LANA

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Evolving Existence (a look into a lifelong memoir)

April 27, 2012 Leave a comment

Lately I find myself being impressed with myself. lol. No wait, I’m not being cocky, arrogant or narcissistic, I meant I’m proud of the changes I’ve made. At 25, I’m not really that old, definitely not too young & contrary to what some may believe, my age does not mean I’m inexperienced. In fact, my experiences resulted in my evolution(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251075/) (remember that movie, the smiley face, the rhetoric, shout out luli) into the person writing this blog.

Kat Williams made a joke in his Pimp Chronicles standup that went, “If you’ve been selling weed since 1994 and you haven’t moved up to cocaine by 2006 – you are doing something wrong”  Now, we all know I have no interest in becoming a drug king-pin(http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/04/granny-drug-kingpin-busted-in-oklahoma/), supplier or drug runner, but the logic behind his madness is this,  if you arent growing every year, evolving, blooming or maturing you aren’t doing it right.

My need for constant growth made me a natural planner,writer or  some would say journalist, simply one who keeps journals, I have journals from the young age of 8. When I return to those journals I find myself LAUGHING OUT LOUD!! That poor little girl, the boys, the obsessions, slight stalking & the occasional girl fight, gotta love ADOLESCENCE. How does one young, akwardly-cute lil girl feel these things..so with this post I’d like to take a journey into my journal evolution & a walk down Lana Memory Lane!

OODLES, my journal, my confidant, best friend & keeper of my darkest & most tantalizing secrets. She’s been there for me in my dramatic tantrums, life-ending breakups & catty girl confrontations. I love her like no other, but at times I fear the secrets she’ll share in my death. What does one do with the proof of their existence when they die? Do they share their words with the world or burn them before they reach their demise. These are the questions I ponder & the answers I seek, I’m not sure what I’ll do with my journals, but for now, they’re a great source of reflection, a wonderful sign of growth & great place to find inspiration. So sit back, enjoy the horrible grammar, misspelled words & school girl rants…lol…THIS WAS MY EXISTENCE…

XOXO LANA

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Table Scraps, No thanks! (what are YOU bringing to my table?)

April 10, 2012 Leave a comment

This time around, I definitely exercised a little couth when dealing with Bub, I avoided random arguments, didn’t accuse him of only wanting 1 thing & I even “seemed” interested in his lame “when I was younger” stories that were coupled with hay day photos, which I found absolutely adorable. I honestly thought we were moving in the right direction. I mean, I know we struggled with vanilla sex & lacked sexual adventure, but, we talked about it, we bounced ideas around & he actually seemed open to some things. But before I could actually enjoy our creativity in reality, he decided to ask me the “What do you bring to the table?” question. Now, had we just met, I wouldn’t have been so irritated, hurt or confused. But at this point, we’ve known each other over a year, we discussed our life stories, education backgrounds, careers goals, aspirations & spirituality. So, now, why do you ask “what do I bring to the table?”

“What do you bring to the table?” What? Wait. Did he really just ask me that? Now, if this was the ALPHA BEAUTY LANA & not the ever maturing Lana, I may have just blown the F up on this guy. How dare he ask me what I bring to the table. Does he not see the qualities I posses, and even more important, does he not appreciate my greatness. I mean come on, beauty,brains & body, and he’s questioning me, as if he’s a big fish, a great a catch, a hot commodity, please. I am an honest girl, & honestly, if I’m dating you, its obvious I see something great in you. But please, don’t over exaggerate your qualities.

My run-in with that infamous question, inspired this post, really, when someone asks, “what do you bring to the table” what do you say. I generally date older, well read,bred & fed men, the type of guy that ask nothing of you, just show up, look hot & hold an intelligent  conversation. I’ve been the SUGAR BABY, I’ve had SUGAR DADDIES, SPONSORS & RELIABLE FRIENDS & of course SUITORS, but never have I genuinely answered the question, because no one has ever really asked. Generally, my men have been great judges of character, they know if we are compatible, they know my qualities & they don’t have to play games by asking open-ended questions. With that being said, I wanted to answer in three ways, all of which are true to my existence, but not necessarily my recent mature, retired Sugar Baby & no longer arm candy existence. So, when asked “What do you bring to the table” by Bub, I wanted to:   

  1. Curse this mediocre guy out
  2. Make a quirky comment about the BEDROOM BENEFITS
  3. Answer Genuinely & intelligently (making him think about my greatness)

Surprisingly, although I have grown, I answered his question with options 2 & 3.  I shared, “loyalty, career focused , loving, i cook, I’m educated, fit- i workout, works 2 jobs, beauty & i tend to keep my man happy” Bubs response “you can’t just say that” WTF! So, that’s not good enough?  Bubs question lead me to ask my past suitor & one of my dearest friends TD his thoughts, I affectionately call him TD because he’s actually a television technical director. Lol.  TD summed up my greatness  in just a few words “Career, Brains, Beauty, House Wife & if that’s not good enough, he’s just not that into you” lol..right? I love it! ummm did you just quote a movie title? lol..

See, I think posing that question is a cop out for so many reasons. I could understand if we haven’t known each other for over a year. But, if we’ve been going on dates, sleeping together & driven through 3 states together, shouldn’t he already know what I bring to the table? Lastly, when he mentioned what he brought to the table, he only noted material possessions & made no effort to highlight his characteristics or qualities. This act alone is evidence he lacks real character, I mean, does he really think a road trip & breakfasts at Denny’s is a significant contribution to my table? Those are mere table scraps in a relationship, those are appetizers, they aren’t entrees, & they won’t keep you full throughout a relationship. Although a serial dater, I am not dating expert & I lack the answers to my questions.  I tried to stay hopeful, that maybe this time around Bub & I could make it work. But, the question, the sex, the shortness- all amounted to me being OVER IT! And the funny thing about it all, when he text to ask if I was mad at him, I explained I wasn’t mad just a little hurt, his reply “Sorry I text you” LOL, so yea you’re still a douche...I guess it’s true what they say, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks! 

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Single & Yearning…(tales of a naughty girl)

April 4, 2012 2 Comments

I often say that I am jaded, tainted, maybe even a lil weary  when it comes to my sexual escapades, but now in my ripe age of 25, I’ve realized, I’m not tainted at all, but well versed in sexuality. I mean I’ve partaken in some debauchery to say the least; the lovers, the play, the roles, the heels, the costumes, the lingerie, ménage trois, play parties & more. With my sexual moxie,  I can honestly say, I have no fear of whips, leashes, chains & rough play. But as I continue to date, I find some of my suitors aren’t into that kinda play & when I say “some of my suitors” I definitely mean my most recent, BUB.

In past post I’ve shared my dating experiences, some of the suitors I’ve encountered & the many peeves I have being single. Now, to give you the run down on my run down, (It’s important you imagine me saying these bullets in my lions, tigers, & bears OH MY rhythm) So, I’ve dated:

  • CEO’s
  • Business Owners
  • Sports analyzer
  • Technical Directors
  • Wall Street Investors
  • Lawyers
  • Doctors
  •  & an Oscar Winning Director OH MY!!!!

And their interests & sexual appetites have all varied, but, I’ve never been afraid. My encounters with some of my men have only given me more insight to what it is I like sexually, I’ve learned so much from my savvy lovers, some of which I consider MASTERS in the Art of Seduction.

Now, as I write this I can’t help but think of my BUB. My sweet wholesome BUB. He isn’t a CEO, Technical Director & definitely not a Doctor, he’s a traveling Salesmen, he’s good at what he does & I like that. I enjoy his GOOD OL’ AMERICAN BOY SWAG, boy scouts, football, baseball & Catholic Mass most Sundays. He’s good on the grill, great with his hands & loves to get DIRTY, all the testosterone driven qualities I definitely admire, seek & hope my partner possess. Although he seems like my perfect BUB, he’s lacking something, he’s underdeveloped sexually. He doesn’t think outside the box & sheesh, at times it seems he’s trapped in the box, unwilling to come out & play.

It’s so strange for me, because I like that he’s so different from some of my past guys, but, if you know me, you know I’m an extremely sensual individual. I love to hold hands, kiss, hug, & be petted like a lil Pomeranian. And Bub, well he just thinks he can show up, poke around & that alone will satisfy me. DEFINITELY NOT!! Now, I am completely aware that some people just aren’t affectionate, hell, some don’t focus on foreplay, can’t properly perform oral task & shy away from kinky adventures & that’s fine, but I don’t think I can continue on with this dry,vanilla dalliance.

 

I’m perplexed, he’s such a GOOD guy, but if we are already lacking a sexual-emotional connection, WHATS A GIRL TO DO? I’ve already made it a point- to make a point more than once, suggested visual stimulation for references & even asked “WHAT CAN I DO”….wtf! With all my efforts, I can’t help but feel a little discouraged about our future. Well, let’s be real, there is no future, because “SPICING UP” a relationship in it’s early stages is definitely not promising. Especially when you are young attractive, sexually driven doll with an immense appetite for eclectic play, I must move on. Lol.

That’s it! I’ve decided to give him his walking papers, have I? IDK! He may be a great FILLER to keep my mind, my time, & my desires off my LOVER! (duh..I STILL HAVE MY LOVER) Either way, I wait for my lover, I yearn for more excitement & I NEED something new!

XOXO

LANA

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LOVER Liaison (single&missing my LOVER)

March 23, 2012 Leave a comment

I’m not sure how long I’m supposed to miss him. We discussed this “chillin’ out” period, but, I never imagined I would have yet to chill after 2 weeks. I even laughed, “I won’t miss you, I’ll be fine” Yea right! I now take it back LOVER!! I do miss you!
I knew what I was signing up for when I decided to make him my LOVER; I mean his work, his life, his OBLIGATIONS, all PRIORITIES & ALL must be attended to. And me? Well, I’m never an after thought but definitely not a necessity & I am okay with that. But still, I miss him.

We all know that I am a professional dater. I pride myself in my ability to date multiple men, be attentive to all of them, collect gifts & cash; while remaining  SINGLE! But, I miss my LOVER. I can’t help but daydream of our last encounter & how sweet it felt to be with him after so long. I know no matter what he will always be my LOVER & me his REWARD, I mean he tells me so, his looks reassure me & his touch is more than a confirmation. But still, I miss my LOVER!

Now, I am more than occupied with a few other suitors, work, play & the DUI, but still, I miss my LOVER! His approval in life, love & anything I do, motivates me to be better. I strive to prove him right & make him proud of my endeavors & I know he is, but, it’s so hard to feel so close to him while keeping our distance.

It’s funny how things work out. I never imagined I’d be so smitten by him & yearn to feel him next to me, but I do! Sweet looks, a lip bite, a lip lick w. his tongue, it’s all an immediate arousal for me. So, my addiction to his LOVE’N forces me to be that “giddy school girl”, hoping to see LOVER pop up on my phone,  praying every text is him & pathetically wishing every “BLOCKED” call be an invite to our next TRYST. None of the above has occurred in the last two weeks but my aching desire to be near him will keep me steadfast as I covet this LOVER of mine & our next liaison.

XOXO

LANA

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Single & Driving Under the Influence

March 22, 2012 2 Comments

We’ve all done it! If you haven’t done it, then I’m extremely proud of you!

Well, my experience is no different than the masses:

Too much to drink. Partying way too hard & the overwhelming need to be in your “OWN” bed, which is 35 miles east of your current drunken debauchery.

Now, there are some & I mean some, as in a very few, who actually do the responsible thing: Stay & Lay, sober up & only drive once they’ve found their nose. lol.

But, I can admit & have no shame in admitting, that I HAVE DRIVEN DRUNK, not only once, not just twice & it’s well beyond three times. My logic? Well, every time you drive drunk you reaffirm your “drunken” confidence & it’s as if you have super hero powers that immediately improve your driving ability HA! NOT!

Studies show that most first time offenders have driven drunk at least 80 times prior to their first conviction. (http://www.madd.org/laws/law-overview/Draft-Ignition_Interlocks_for_all_Offenders_Overview.pdf)

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DRIVEN DRUNK? I wont lie here, I can’t quantify my drunk driving experiences, but I  can say that I wasn’t always “SH!T FACED” There were times :

  • I was just a little tipsy from 2-3 cocktails at dinner.
  • I had a drink at a friends & then left to go home.
  • I woke up drunk & had to go somewhere.
  • I had a little happy hour w. my coworkers but felt sober.
  • I had a glass of wine or 2 at home & then drove to the local store just 1 block away.

The possibilities are endless, it only takes one drink to be inebriated & if you make just 1 mistake while driving under the influence, you may possibly alter your entire life & the lives of EVERYONE INVOLVED.

By no means is this blog post an attempt to glorify my past experiences or even make excuses for my mistakes. More than anything, I’m facing my reality! This is my story:

“I found myself pounding more drinks in 2 hours than I had in the 12 hour drinking binge. Next, it’s time to go & my friend will not allow my suitor to take us to breakfast. Which I later found to be kinda effed up & I still find myself questioning everything, what if we went to breakfast, what if i could sober up, what if I had that extra hour & a half to get my life together? Oh well! It didn’t happen, but what did happen, was I dropped her off at her house & she found it in her drunkenness to question my driving ability  “Are you okay to drive?” Hmmm,  I later found out I said “Yes” and immediately proceeded to vomit out the door following my answer. I’m not sure about you, but had that been my friend, I would have immediately suggested you sit this one out! Oh well! She didn’t! I left! I made it half-way home till I found myself spinning outta control on the freeway and later hoping the other vehicle was okay! DAMN!”

Yes, that’s my story! I literally worked 12 hours that day & found time to drink within that 12 hour binge, all in celebration of Thanksgiving. Kinda Ironic, I wanted to drink to celebrate being thankful & hours later I was  just thankful to be alive & not be a murderer! And, I’d like to point out that statistically, Thanksgiving takes 1st place prize when it comes to drunk driving fatalities & New Years Eve closely follows.(http://dui.lifetips.com/cat/61352/drunk-driving-facts-stats/index.html) Who would of thought!

I’ve been charged, convicted, fined & ordered to attend Drivers Safety, AA & MADD! It’s not the most ideal of situations nor is it flattering especially once the the reality sets in & you realize you’ve lost your license, totaled your car, and immediately doubled your insurance, you can’t do anything more than PUSH.  I’m still forced to work, go to church, deal with family & friend all while I just try be single & exist!

This DUI has really killed my dating life, it’s hard dating multiple men while not  having a vehicle to drive. I’ve found some of my men to be understanding & willing to work with my “drivinglessness” but, it’s hard when I’m so accustomed to being I N D E P E N D E N T & F R E E!

So, as I count the days till I’m back on the road, I don’t forget to count my blessings & appreciate the opportunity I have to rectify my situation & make things better.

DON’T DRIVE DRUNK!

XOXO

LANA

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Tryst Tales-single&naughty

March 2, 2012 1 Comment

Drunk on a plane. Yea, that was so me. It’s really cray how one drink becomes 2, 2 to 3, 3 to 4, and finally, 5, yes 5 before 5pm.

I was definitely that girl. Luckily for me, there weren’t very many passengers on the plane- there were no crying babies, overly overweight people and no one was dying from the flu.

There’s nothing like a random conversation with your flight companion, for one, you don’t know this random person, and two you REALLY don’t know this random person! I was drunk & she sleepy, but we found ourselves discussing the basics, you know the basics: Who, What, When, Where &How! She was from Inglewood (THANK GOD she wasn’t HOOD) , traveling to Vegas to spend some much-needed quality time with her best friend.

I’m sure I was rambling -because we all do when inebriated. Right? I shared stories of my Lover. Our chance encounter, our ability to stay in contact & this random trip to come visit him. I was originally planning to see another “friend” but, of course, things don’t always work as planned. But hey, looking back I am definitely happy that the house of cards fell the way they did.

Anyways, as planned, I called as soon as I touched down. He was anticipating my call of course & I could hear the adrenaline in his voice-he was ready! Hmmm.One thing you should know about my Lover is he plans everything to the smallest detail- all I have to do is SHOW UP!

He planned for me to take a car to the Mandarin Oriental- I usually stay on the strip but seeing how Leads Con Convention was in Vegas, and my immediate superiors & CEO would be there, I was happy to be extremely far from the strip. :) I was off the clock, but how does one explain a cray 12 hour love affair-ONE DOES NOT EXPLAIN-ONE JUST LAYS LOW. Lol

He’s the perfect gentleman. I arrived to the hotel & he was there handsome of course, ready to wine & dine his doll. Now, bear with me people- I am single & ready to mingle, play & eventually lay…lol. Lover has teased me with quality time for a while now, so I could not help myself when I 8th grade made out with him. You know those adolescent make out sessions that lasted for what seemed to be HOURS. That was us & it was something short of breathtaking.

Dinner was amazing. I would have loved to share photos, but I left my purse in the room by request from my Lover. There was a incredible tasting, of the most delicious lil bites, wine was delicious & the steak & lobster to die for…the view from the window was absolutely beautiful, but, no desserts for the 2 of us- well there was dessert but it was NOTHING the chef could prepare! ;)

Once in the room…Well, let’s just say there was a quick wardrobe change into the perfect Frederick’s of Hollywood negligee…HE LOVED IT-suggestion for the women, although you’ll only wear it briefly he’ll ALWAYS enjoy!!

I can’t bore you with all the tantalizing details..but do know 2 things, 1) it was worth the killer of a hangover I had the next morning & 2) it felt soo good being bad!!

Now to wait for our next rendezvous …my sweet Lover, I can’t wait to see you again.

XOXO

LANA

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Filed under Single Life, Tryst Tales, Uncategorized Tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,

SINGLE & NAUGHTY-tales of naughty girl!

March 1, 2012 1 Comment

Planning a 12 hour tryst is something only few can accomplish successfully. I’m dressed in super sexy pleather spandex & my 6inch wedges has everything propped just right. My luggage, well it’s really a simple fashion duffel bag (carry-on baby, no time for checking anything), packed w. another pair of 6inchers, make-up, perfume, and most importantly…. lingerie. If I’m going to be naughty, I must have the right accessories and be adorned in the appropriate “Single & Naughty” girl attire. Right?  The day slowly ends & @ 2:30 my journey begins.

As I  sit at the bar waiting for my flight, there are 2  things I can’t help but think, “oh boy how GOOD it feels being bad” & “damn, this is really a fly by night turn-around trip. I will honestly spend 12 hours in sin-city & am praying that the old famous mantra, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” is a true.”  Right

I know some of you may think, this girl is real cray! But honestly, you only live once & as a single girl, I can only take this trip & run!!!!! Well, not run, but fly! You catch my drift. A random trip to Vegas, who really would have thought. And what’s even more random, is that it’s a Tuesday @ 5pm & I’ve had 5 vodka tonics before 5pm, the drink of champions I must add! And, have I mentioned it feels so good being bad!

Dressed the part of a sexy young vixen, I find the coquet stares of men, fitting; the genuine compliments from women, supportive & the looks of discern unnecessary! I feel everyone I encounter knows of my mission & honestly, I LIKE IT! ;)

This trip planned to the last detail, with no help from me. My ticket, $ for libations & car service ALL PAID IN FULL by my LOVER! Yes, he definitely knows how to treat his girl. Nothing but the best for me & let’s just say, nothing but the best for him! Thoughts of accompanying him to a dinner of fine food, fine wine & even finer conversation only intoxicates me more & solidifies my need to see him. It’s not l like we have a lot of time together, he busy with work, me busy with life, our meeting is well overdue & we shall take full ADVANTAGE of our time.

Well, I think this is all I have for now. I mean, I’m a lil tipsy, my flight’s boarding soon, & there is one hell of a man waiting for me! vivaLASVEGAS! Here I come Lover.

XOXO

LANA

Filed under Single Life Tagged with , , , , , , , ,

25 Best Quotes From Toddlers And Tiaras [Gallery]

January 8, 2013 Leave a comment

Reblogged from College Candy - Gossip . Fast Fashion . Female Lifestyle . Relationships:

Click to visit the original post

We all know and love Honey Boo Boo but the people on Toddlers and Tiaras say such amazing things they could have literally picked any one family to follow and gotten an amazing reality series. Seriously, you give a few bite-sized beauty queens a camera and a microphone and the filters come off. They'll say just about anything unapologetically and it's great - getting inside the heads of kids who are a part of one of the weirdest aspects of American culture: pageants.

Read more… 51 more words

This is too cute...

Filed under Uncategorized

25 Best Quotes From Toddlers And Tiaras [Gallery]

January 8, 2013 Leave a comment

Reblogged from College Candy - Gossip . Fast Fashion . Female Lifestyle . Relationships:

Click to visit the original post

We all know and love Honey Boo Boo but the people on Toddlers and Tiaras say such amazing things they could have literally picked any one family to follow and gotten an amazing reality series. Seriously, you give a few bite-sized beauty queens a camera and a microphone and the filters come off. They'll say just about anything unapologetically and it's great - getting inside the heads of kids who are a part of one of the weirdest aspects of American culture: pageants.

Read more… 51 more words

This is too cute...

Filed under Uncategorized

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