Training The Trainer

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Unlike many, my weight loss journey has been a somewhat solo exposition. Of course I’ve gained knowledge, and insight from my mentors, online journals and of course Dr.Oz, but for the most part it’s been me, myself and I, as my trainer, my nutritionist and my biggest fan!

Obtaining a trainer isn’t cheap, and A guy I dated for a few months hired a trainer for me for two sessions. Two days is not enough time to lose any significant amount of weight, however, I did learn valuable tips on my diet, and it was then I began to appreciate the almond, cashew, and a yummy dried berry trail mix!

That was back in 2010, I had only lost 15-20 pounds, and it (my weight loss) was all based on “back to the basics” my simple nutrition and fitness plan that didn’t require a coach, a contract or a meal replacement.

Going “back to the basics” wasn’t easy, and because of habit, it made it seem near impossible at times! I was working at Staples Center, enrolled full time in school, and let me just say, free food, amazing guest and late nights is no place to be when your committing to nutrition and weight loss!

By packing salads, keeping trail mix in ziplock bags in my uniform pockets, and just saying no to temptation I was able to drop about 20 pounds in my first 6 months (bf the trainers 2 sessions)! Still at this point, I had no gym, no trainer and no one to talk to when I had munchies or self doubt! I truly called on myself, Christ and my future FitSelf to keep me committed and focused on the prize.

Let’s get “back 2 the basics” fitness! For me, running comes natural! I ran track through jr.high and high school, so running just made sense! Of course at 165, there was no way I’d start out the blocks running a mile! So I started with Kim Kardashians, Fit into Your Jeans by Friday DVD w trainer Jennifer Galardi.

Oh boy! When I say I was outta shape, I am not lying! I couldn’t even complete the 10 min warm up! It would take me 30 minutes with all my breaks! I was feeling defeated, I didn’t know how’d I ever lose weight, in fact who was I kidding I WOULD BE FAT FOREVER!

I spent most of 2010 and 2011 perfecting and mastering the fit into your jeans series! By 2012 I was training for my first 5k in Colorado at Nacac where’d id represent my company at the end of the conference race! If I remember correctly I placed 19/20 out of 43/45 women, I felt like a champ!

I’m a girl on a budget and really thought long and hard about a gym membership. The mainstream gyms were overpriced and their hours of operations were just laughable! When my girlfriend mentioned planet fitness I didn’t have an opinion, but a quick online search lead me to a World Wide Web full of opinions on the new gym franchise.

Known for their purple and yellow decor, no judgement zone atmosphere, and 2 basic packages that give you access 24 hours a day, I felt it was a pretty good start for me! Of course it’s no golds, there’s no classes, no pool or smoothie bar, but

I’ve spent the last year at planet fitness and it’s helped me push myself to the next level. My body has transformed since incorporating weight training, and of course my new interest in bikini competition and personal training have evolved since joining the gym.

Although my level of fitness has evolved I’m still committed to “back to the basics” for significant weight loss and maintenance!

Xoxo
FitsLana

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Work in Progress

20140529-140752.jpg When I started my weight loss journey back in 2010 I was extremely hesitant and doubted myself. I lost weight fast, and then realized I wanted something more. I didn’t want to just be a fit person, or someone who works out, but I wanted to inspire others, and motivate them to reach their goals.

So in December 2013 when the opportunity to leave a dead-end job with pay, presented itself, Not only did I resign happily and begin receiving a pretty cool severance package, but I started planning the rest of my life.

In January I began training with a competition prep team for physique shows. I was extremely intimidated, the girls on Instagram looked like goddess’, there was no way I would ever compete with the likes of Stacie Alexander, or Coryn Salarzer in the NPC. But, I knew I wanted to get on a stage, so I kept going.

Fast forward to April, where I started training clients and creating personalized fitness and nutrition plans to help them reach their fitness goals. It was in April that I finally committed to competing! After receiving my first payment in full for a 4 week personal training plan, I submitted my registration for Muscle Beach’s International Classic- Memorial Day!

At about 30 days out, I was still very much bloated. I had no idea how I was going to get my body ready for stage, and I definitely didn’t know how to pose, and I didn’t even have a bikini suit idea! Thank God for my girl, Maribel and Tantra444.com – she made it all come together and helped me prepare within just three weeks out from the show!

Luckily for me, my bloating we caused by diet, and my diet included broccoli’ so as soon as I eliminated the gassy foods, I noticed an immediate change in my tummy! Between a clean diet, and depletion I was summer time fine and bikini comp ready for May 26th

What a wonderful first show! A Cali babe in a bikini at Venice beach it couldn’t be more right! The day was filled with great networking opportunities and of course the opportunity to show off my hard work to the masses!

Between 4am make up, 7am check in, 930 athlete prep, and finally going on stage at 1, it was an extremely exhausting day! When finals started at 5, I wanted to win, I wanted place, but most of all I wanted to eat and drink some water! When Joe Wheatley called my name, “Lana Davis” I wasn’t sure what place I made, but I knew I had placed!

The initial shock was quick, ok, I placed, but which place, oh shoot, I out performed girls who do this often! Ahhh! Taking 4th out of 19 in my first showing was the most empowering feeling ever! I’ve had no formal training and pushed myself to new heights.

Feeling extremely accomplished I’m even more motivated to compete in the NPC and become a national qualifier! I’m hungry for success, and I see the light at the end of the tunnel. So many people doubted me, questioned me, and had negative things to say, but as I sit here living my dream, on my own time, I’m extremely blessed and soo happy to be Lana Davis!

Xoxo
LANA

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LIFE IS GOOD

Through it all my life is good.

I’m passionate about my projects, my volunteer work, and my fitness goals. I wake up everyday and do exactly what I want, THANK YOU!

The jealousy, hate, and attempt to ruin my character have not harmed me but made me better and presented a favorable opportunity.

No stress about money, traffic, or health, I’m finally stress free for a while and am planning my masterpiece.

Funny thing is, I’m still having really great dinners at amazing restaurants, just spent an amazing weekend in the Hollywood Hills, and let’s not forget the just because gifts, that still happen, just because.

At the end of the day no matter what people have to say about me, my life, or my decisions, I’m as real as they come. I don’t pretend to like people, I don’t screenshot Facebook post to share like ridiculous school girls, or attempt to decipher someones creativity, I’m so happy with my life, that other people don’t matter! It’s sad that not everyone can say that, but either way, MY LIFE IS GOOD.

I know what I am, I see my growth in numbers, gains, and connections – numbers don’t lie in life., you see the report.

It’s been so long since I’ve shared my adventures with you all. I hate for others to read, and use my work for “evil” so I had to give it a break. But, I no longer care to dim my creative flair for the “comfort” of others. In fact,  I’m hoping to a be a thing of the past, and to no longer be a hot topic among non factors.

I want those who visit my blog to truly enjoy my tales, not use my light as a cloud of darkness.  It’s time to do me again and resume sharing my single existence, although, I’m not that single anymore :)

TBC

xoxo

LANA

El Fin

this will be a ramble, a tangent, and note in which a girl talks way too much

I miss him oh so much. For the last 8 months he has been my all, my life, my air, and now he is gone

i miss the dogs

He just removed me from his life, like an object. yes, this is  objectification.

when he was done with me, done with my purpose he disposed of me like no other

he was good to me while it lasted, he introduced me into his world, took care of my needs, and taught me so much about myself

but apparently i did not give enough to his well being

that makes me feel worthless useless why wasnt what i had enough – i tried – i did – he doesn’t think i tried

i want no other but him, those who know me are sad for me, see the hurt in my eyes, the sadness in my spirit

it will be okay – its already gotten better – i feel better – dont need him – i dont want him

oh wait – i do want him – i feel like i need him

i must not text him, i hate charity responses, i hate feeling needy

oh wait he text me first , he misses me? no he doesnt miss me – its just manipulation

oh no, i can not allow that – i will not allow that

ok – im fine

its over

Social Media: Turn Your Social Media Skills into a Career

This is an article I wrote for a writers Forum:

“If you do something you love, it won’t feel like you’re working.” We’ve all heard this cliché phrase at least once in our lives, I’m sure. But let’s face it, translating what you love to do into a fulfilling career while obtaining financial stability; is not as easy as it seems.

How can you, a recent grad, make money partying every Thursday, and then live to tell? We all know as college grads, we not only enjoy leisurely sifting through our feeds on Facebook, Instagram, Tadaa, and Pheed , but we LOVE IT!!!! And if being a social media junky is what you love, I’m sure as tech savvy, and intelligent college graduate, you’ll transition your love into a career worth working.

Indeed recently shared their Job Trend’s Graph, analyzing the growth for job technology search terms over the last six years. Indeed found that not only was the term, “Social Media” used often in job postings, but it was the winner overall with 1.5% growth, out growing terms like Mobile App and HTML5.

So, how do you do it? This is where I introduce, innovative professor, Larry Gee, of San Jose State University. His program is called, “The Great Mind Challenge”, where students realize the correlation between their social media skills and the benefits they poses for a company’s growth.

Granted many of you have completed your B.A and need a job with income fast, if that’s the case, definitely check out this article, HOW TO: Use Your Social Media Skills to Earn Extra Money. The author shares tips like, working for free, define your service, and land a paying client as a road map to achieve success.

Basically, if you want to turn your Facebook snooping into a full on career, you’ll need to explore the world of Social Media, learn the ways of SEO, and hit the pavement hard! But remember, be patient and be humble, for you’re just a dot in the pixel, and are still creating your landing page.

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I’m pretty sure my soul mates Republican…

Phew, thank God, Allah, Buddha, and the Messiah finally, the election is over! Always having interest in politics, I’ve followed every Presidential Election since I was a child, but for some reason this election was exhausting; and I wasn’t even campaigning. Like most years the airwaves were polluted with politically slanted advertising, generally entertaining when your sardonically critical opinions are share with your spouse, but what does one do when their spouse is the enemy, a supporting and active affiliate of the Republican Party?

Thankfully, my relationship with the Liberal Republican (if there’s such a thing) was short, our relationship ended a week before the election, and let’s face it, although Republican he was disgusted with Romney. That being said, his disgust for Romney had not altered his “Obama is a Socialist” mindset, but it did reassure me he was smart enough to know Romney was an idiot, so THERE IS HOPE!

He wasn’t the first Republican I ever dated, but he was the first I considered dating seriously, and the only Republican I considered a potential life partner.  That being said, my dating history lead me to believe it’s inevitable; my soul mate is a Republican.

“Can A Democrat Love a Republican”  explores why a woman Democrat would date a Republican, and Helen Fisher, anthropologist and author of Why We Love  finds our “love-map”  from which we’ve subconsciously built since childhood dictates the qualities we admire most, and most importantly those are dictated by qualities and values held by our parents and close family. Explaining why the author of the article was born into a Republican family, turned Democrat, and fell in love with a Republican!

Cover of "Why We Love: The Nature and Che...

XOXO

LANA

http://www.yourtango.com/20083033/mr-right-vs-ms-left/page/2

http://boards.askmen.com/showthread.php?81019-Dating-a-Democrat-vs-Republican

http://www.more.com/relationships/dating-sex-love/democrat-dating-republican-can-it-last

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120210135613AA5qmR3

http://daily-download.com/dumbest-post-omg-im-dating-a-republican/

UNHAPPILY MARRIED, THE NEW SINGLE!

Today, on LAIST.com, “L.A. Ranks Number One in Mistresses Per Capita” Because of my experiences, and the run-ins with married men, I immediately laughed out, good Ol’ tinsel town making the top of the list, beating out cities like Dallas, Washington, DC, and West Palm Beach.

The fact that we made the list is compelling in itself, but now let’s look at the granular data, let’s focus on the one city in all of LA that has the high percentage of mistresses. Do you know what city? Come on, guess! Okay, I’ll tell you, it’s the 90210! Yes, our buddies in Bev Hills have the most mistresses than any other city, I’m sure Camille of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills will attest.

So what differentiates Los Angeles from other cities? First I’m going to say most people in Los Angeles are not native of the state, so they definitely aren’t Los Angelenos at heart. But the founder of AshleyMadison.com points out that LA is unlike any other city in the USA. Most people here, especially women have hopes of a successful career and aren’t solely focused on starting a family, so it’s easier to date someone successful who already has a family. Reading the article, and reflecting on my relationship/affair w. Lover, I immediately thought of a piece I wrote a year ago titled, “Unhappily Married, it’s the new single.” It was quick dive into some of the excuses I hear from married men, and the rationality they use to persuade. Here is the article below:

“As a single girl, a social gal, a lady who enjoys happy hours, I find myself victim of some of the cheesiest one liners, the lamest single guys, and my new favorite, “The Unhappily Married!” Right? Yes, you read it correctly, people have actually created a new relationship status, use it as a pick-up line. They rationalize their Unhappily Married, and are sure their wives won’t mind.”I hear the chatter, I laugh, and I politely decline, but honestly what is a girl really to do? It’s almost as if people believe because the prefix to “Married” is “Unhappily” that it will make me that more interested. “Please, don’t flatter yourself!” Regardless if you are happy or unhappy, I will continue to reject your advances, but yes, I will definitely accept your drinks! “Thank you sir!”I feel as if I want to call the wives of the “Unhappily Married,” introduce myself, share my story, proceed to disclose every sorted, vile, disrespectful, tasteless, ill-mannered comment, that their husband has made about them, and then, wish her luck w. her pig of a husband.All I’m saying is this, 30 may be the new 20 and 40 the new 30, but by no means is “Unhappily Married” the new single. And by the way, if you’re running around acting as if it is the new single, you’re a horrible excuse for a human being, and more importantly you are the reason I’m debating polyamory. :-) lol”

After reading this article I can’t help but feel guilty, hypocritical, and fake, for I have partaken in an unholy relationship, and LIKED it! Regardless of my involvement with Lover, I am enthralled with the “Unhappily Married who date” trend. I have ended my relationship with Lover, but I wonder if he’s used the “Unhappily Married” line with anyone else.

XOXO

LANA

I’d Be Lying

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad, upset, hurt or felt defeated, and that although confident, I too feel the pain of a failed relationship. I too question myself, what I did, could I have done something different, and what am I doing wrong. It’s tough, I didn’t expect to fall for someone, but most importantly I didn’t expect to fall for that someone.

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t wondered why he lied Monday, or that I wasn’t hoping he’d call  after his son’s band practice. I’ve questioned myself, why did he let the entire day pass on Tuesday, and say absolutely nothing? How do we go from, “happy-go-lucky” life is good, we are moving toward commitment, to now, him not being compelled enough to call or text?

I’d not only be lying, but it would also be a big pile of malarkeyy (as Joe Biden would say) if I said I hadn’t  re-read the last set of text in trying to decipher his hidden code. What was he saying? When he said, “That’s the Plan” did he really mean it? Did he have intentions of seeing me Sunday? I know from our past issues he’s the type to shut-down, the taciturn type, but after the last few months, the birthday, sleepovesr, and daily routine; I did not expect such an abrupt end to what seemed to be a balanced relationship. WTF, rereading text as if I’ll find answers only he can give me, but can he really?

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, and that his MUTATION hasn’t hurt my lil heart. I guess he isn’t  who I thought he was, and in that case there’s no point in me caring. I do not doubt his feelings for me, or that he cares/cared about me, but I do question his character. I understand there is never enough time to do everything you want in one day, but I for fact know sending a text, or a quick call takes less the 10 seconds. That being said, I guess his lack of communication should be the only variable that I take in account, and should be enough for me to realize, he isn’t worth my time.

I’d be lying if  I didn’t admit that part of me of is relieved the relationship is over, because now I no longer need to be understanding of “Divorced Dad Issues” Now that’s he’s out of my life, I don’t need to be supportive, empathetic, or patient with his situation. I really do care for him, and my want to support him is genuine, and sincere, but when someone doesn’t want your support, you can only bow out gracefully, and continue on your path!

The only way to move forward is to be honest with yourself, and being honest with myself, mean’s I will undoubtedly give you the same honesty, my truth! So what’s the truth? The truth is I’m SAD, ANGRY, and Glum, the guy I like has managed to push me out of his life two times within 3 months, he’s sold me a fairytale dream, and now he’s as ghost, as the Ghost of Christmas Past. He’s unresponsive to my text, and has done nothing to reassure me, beg me, commiserate, condole, just simply relieve my anxiety, instead he’s become more aloof, and made it impossible to excuse his behavior and continue with the relationship.

So no, I’m not going to lie, BREAK UPS SUCK, but I’ll be okay, I ALWAYS AM!

XOXO

Lana

 

It’s Over, I think!

I can’t remember the last time I felt this way, where I actually thought I had found someone I could commit. Granted, the guy I’m smitten over isn’t my “dream” guy, and our situation isn’t what I envisioned for my “Happily ever After”, but the traits, and the character of this man makes him my perfect match. I think

I’ll admit I moved incredibly fast with this relationship, well not just me, he too moved incredibly fast with this relationship. It went from introduction, to seduction, followed by copulation, but always filled with adoration, and appreciation for the little piece of “normalcy” we shared. It’s not just a hit-it & quit-it, fly by night hook-up, but there so much more here, and it’s obvious in everything we do. I think

WTF, three kids? Not one, not two, but three, three Littles to call his own. I was absolutely thrown for a loop; of course his introduction was filled with stories of his Littles. And I could see it in his eyes, he wasn’t the weekend dad, or the angry ex, but he actually took pride in his title as Father, and he lived for those experiences. I’ve always said I COULD NEVER DATE A MAN WITH KIDS, but then I met Lovey, and it was because of his kids, that I DATE A MAN WITH KIDS. His gentleness, his silliness, his eagerness to provide & protect, and his focus on mentoring, and nurturing, all why I find myself head over hills, and falling for him. But with all these positive attributions, I fear he can’t love us all, he can’t balance his many hats, and play his many roles, and of course, the role he play’s in my life, will be the role obliterated. I think

For those of you who personally know me, you know I just had birthday in early October. My birthday is one of my favorite days of the year, I hold this day so high, and I often call it a National Holiday. That being said, my bday hype was definitely shared with Lovey, and as my Lovey, it was up to him to make sure I had an amazing birthday. I say “Make Sure” as if it was his responsibility, but it wasn’t, and although it wasn’t, he still did an amazing job at honoring my day, shopping, dinner, hotel, and bottomless drinks for my girls. And that night, as we lay in bed, he shared his feelings, and his hopes for our relationship, and I believed every word, and still believe every word, BC to me his, word is GOLDEN! I think

So now we sit post the birthday, a little over 3 weeks, and I don’t know what I believe. I find myself accepting broken promises, missed dates, and the lack of communication because he’s with his Littles. I feel guilty because I want to see him, but can’t, because he unexpectedly had to pick up his Littles. He said there are only three things that matter, “work, kid’s, you” but I always feel as if I’m more of an option, especially these last two weeks. I’ve kept a packed bag in my car just in case he has time to see me, I’ve had anxiety attacks because I’ve been overwhelmed with emotion, and more than anything, I feeling like a failure. I think

So at 3am I called him, I wanted to disturb, upset, and alter his state of comfort just as he has done mine. I wanted him to feel the wrath of neglected me, and to know I wasn’t to be toyed with. So I made demands to pick my things up today after work, when he said, “he’d call me this morning”, “I replied don’t worry-I’ll pick my stuff up” I repeated this until he was so angry he cursed, then I hung up. Finally! Emotion! Finally, my being upset has upset him, but wait, I didn’t want this, I just want to spend time with him, and I didn’t want to upset him! Now I’m at work, forced to work under emotional conditions, and still wait for his call, his text, his attention. I think

XOXO Lana

The Lies They Tell

I think it’s safe to say everyone’s at their best behavior in the beginning, I too am guilty of laying the charm on real thick, but there’s a thin line between charm, and blatantly lying, exaggerating, and not being yourself. I date men, so I can only speak on the men I date, and their disingenuous attempt to impress me with manners, chivalry, and vagarious personalities, but in reality you’re not even scratching the surface; you know them not!
I say this because being a serial dater, I’ve met some of the most well behaved, generous, affectionate, attentive, genuine LIARS then most do in a lifetime!!! Yes, I said it, liars. The lies they tell, the dreams they sell, all unnecessary but it’s oh so prevalent in the dating game. I know the first impression is really the only impression, but I’m pretty sure I’ll notice the transition  from A+ Lover, to douche bag F! So why then, do people pretend to be someone they are not, as if I’ll disregard your sudden change in behavior, and be even more interested? UMMM NOT!
For the most part, I tend to date guys who are honest, forthcoming, and genuine, but every once in a while I’ll run into the guy who just doesn’t get it. Its like:
  • He’s the type to sell you the dream, the big house on the hill, 2.5 kids, a dog, maybe even a bird, but then you find out he’s already married?…UMMM IDK if this is gonna work!
  • He shares the most amazing stories you actually want to be there, but then you realize his stories are from 1987, and ummmm your glory years are over sir!!!
  • He’ll promise he wants more than a booty call, tired of the random dates, heartless women, so you attempt to be sweeter & open up more than usually, but then you realize his actions speak volumes that his words merely pierced. ummmm can’t fool me, I see you’re full of……!!!
  • He always has such high accolades to share about his exes, you find that endearing, at least he respects women even those of  failed relationships, I can respect that, but then he goes on to tell you all the horrible things they’ve done, and why he let them go. Ummmm didn’t you just say she was really talented, but now she’s a money hungry whore? ummmm I don’t know if you, uhhhh, I don’t know about…idk…lol….
  • Anybody whose anybody, he knows them! It’s as if he has more followers then Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, and Rihanna, but then you realize with all his connections what does he really have to show for it! Ummmm since you know (insert famous persons name here) do you think we can do something besides hang out at your tasteless, inelegant establishments & BE ABOUT THAT LIFE? I’m just saying….

So as you see, it’s not as if I am angry about the lies they tell, if anything I find it all entertaining. The thought of sitting across from someone insecure, unsure, and unsatisfied with themselves is sad, but funny, it’s a damn shame people aren’t confident enough to be who they are. Although when dating, I am always in CHARACTER, I do buffer my character with  hints of me. You may not know my deepest thoughts, fears, or what makes me cry but I will share my ambitions, goals, and experiences. I will be as real as a first date allows you, but I will always be in Character without the show.  Because no matter what be yourself, but don’t be a fool!

XOXO

Lana

The following articles helped mold my thoughts that inspired this post. Check em out, pretty interesting.

When is enough, enough? Creating a Masterpiece…

It seems as if no matter how many guys I add to MY STABLE, I always need more.  I’m starting to think I truly am insatiable, and that alone is scary. But, really, what am I to do.

I want to first make it very clear, although a guy is in MY STABLE, he is not someone I sleep with. Being in my STABLE, merely allows the opportunity to take me out & contact me regularly, as oppose to my RANDOMS, which in itself is telling. They are RANDOMS, and have yet to prove they are STABLE material. Yea, I know, I have really defined this.

Anyways, my point is this, MY current STABLE is not dreary, but it is somewhat mundane.  The dates are enjoyable, sleepovers delightful, but after that, there’s nothing more than routine text to keep them in line. LOL. Modern day pimp here, yes I am.  No, I’m  not, I am no pimp; I am just a young, single girl, who dates, dates a lot!

I thought my DOLL would be my new addiction, I assumed our chemistry would suffice, and I’d not want another.  But with busy schedules, and shiny things distracting me, I am starting to believe he is just like the rest.

There’s LOVER, who makes me smile with just one text, but I’ve opened up a can of worms here, that is nothing short of DISASTROUS . It would seem, I’ve found the one most immoral guy, and have decided he would be my partner in crime. How perfect! RIGHT!

I think I like the excitement , honestly. The endless possibilities is like a painters  blank canvas, I am master of my destiny, and I shall create one hell of a masterpiece. And as I create this masterpiece,  I guess I’ll date as many colors, and hues, till I find my work of art is complete, and only then will I hang it on that special guys wall.

XOXO

LANA

White is Right, well, right for dating that is!!

The feelings immediately returned as I saw him on the cover of Esquire. There he was, older, more distinguished than ever, and he is very much my quintessential definition of a sexy bald white man.  I thought, “OMG! I love me some him, especially when bald.” I mean he is the white one who started it all.

At the early age 7 or 8, I watched Die Hard for the first time, and was immediately smitten. Bruce Willis, then a young coming of age actor, was the first white man I ever LOVED! Just a young girl, but still very much beguiled by the distinguished, dominant, and of course HANDSOME Detective John McClane.

My infatuation with Bruce Willis, President Clinton, Sean Connery, and Leonardo DiCaprio, was the beginning of a long life fixation with older white men. I’m often asked, why such a crush? Older? White? Really? But, yea, really people! I find some older white men attractive. I am not sure why, but I am for sure positive of the when, and it happened early on in life, while watching Die Hard, listening to Clinton, and watching Sean Connery in Goldfinger, I was hooked then, but never imagined it would be a life long indee fixe. It even followed me to high school, where I had a crush on the football coach, lol!

Now don’t misunderstand me, I am OBSESSED with older white men, but I have dated black men, Persians, Egyptians, and Spanish guys, but there is something about a sexy white guy, that gets me EVERY TIME! Growing up you realize not everyone shares your interracial sentiment, and sometimes the boys you like, just aren’t ready for this C0C0LOV3..But as an adult, they understand, the appreciate, and are somewhat fixated in the contrast of my yummy, rich, c0c0 complexion, and their “Vanilla” complexion. (Vanilla a diminutive form of “vaina” (meaning “sheath“), which is in turn derived from Latin “vagina“) – WHICH I FIND VERY FITTING!!

Non the less, when I saw that cover of Esquire it captivated me, and sent me back 15 years, when it all just begun. Now many years later, I still revere sexy older white men, and have dated my fair share! I often reminisce of little loquacious Lana, and my school girls crushes on big Hollywood stars, boy,  has time changed. I never imagined a school girl crush, or interest would become a life long predilection, but I am definitely okay with it. And, will continue to date incredulously, till the RIGHT WHITE ONE, bc sometimes in life, WHITE IS RIGHT!!

xoxo

Lana

Table Scraps, No thanks! (what are YOU bringing to my table?)

This time around, I definitely exercised a little couth when dealing with Bub, I avoided random arguments, didn’t accuse him of only wanting 1 thing & I even “seemed” interested in his lame “when I was younger” stories that were coupled with hay day photos, which I found absolutely adorable. I honestly thought we were moving in the right direction. I mean, I know we struggled with vanilla sex & lacked sexual adventure, but, we talked about it, we bounced ideas around & he actually seemed open to some things. But before I could actually enjoy our creativity in reality, he decided to ask me the “What do you bring to the table?” question. Now, had we just met, I wouldn’t have been so irritated, hurt or confused. But at this point, we’ve known each other over a year, we discussed our life stories, education backgrounds, careers goals, aspirations & spirituality. So, now, why do you ask “what do I bring to the table?”

“What do you bring to the table?” What? Wait. Did he really just ask me that? Now, if this was the ALPHA BEAUTY LANA & not the ever maturing Lana, I may have just blown the F up on this guy. How dare he ask me what I bring to the table. Does he not see the qualities I posses, and even more important, does he not appreciate my greatness. I mean come on, beauty,brains & body, and he’s questioning me, as if he’s a big fish, a great a catch, a hot commodity, please. I am an honest girl, & honestly, if I’m dating you, its obvious I see something great in you. But please, don’t over exaggerate your qualities.

My run-in with that infamous question, inspired this post, really, when someone asks, “what do you bring to the table” what do you say. I generally date older, well read,bred & fed men, the type of guy that ask nothing of you, just show up, look hot & hold an intelligent  conversation. I’ve been the SUGAR BABY, I’ve had SUGAR DADDIES, SPONSORS & RELIABLE FRIENDS & of course SUITORS, but never have I genuinely answered the question, because no one has ever really asked. Generally, my men have been great judges of character, they know if we are compatible, they know my qualities & they don’t have to play games by asking open-ended questions. With that being said, I wanted to answer in three ways, all of which are true to my existence, but not necessarily my recent mature, retired Sugar Baby & no longer arm candy existence. So, when asked “What do you bring to the table” by Bub, I wanted to:   

  1. Curse this mediocre guy out
  2. Make a quirky comment about the BEDROOM BENEFITS
  3. Answer Genuinely & intelligently (making him think about my greatness)

Surprisingly, although I have grown, I answered his question with options 2 & 3.  I shared, “loyalty, career focused , loving, i cook, I’m educated, fit- i workout, works 2 jobs, beauty & i tend to keep my man happy” Bubs response “you can’t just say that” WTF! So, that’s not good enough?  Bubs question lead me to ask my past suitor & one of my dearest friends TD his thoughts, I affectionately call him TD because he’s actually a television technical director. Lol.  TD summed up my greatness  in just a few words “Career, Brains, Beauty, House Wife & if that’s not good enough, he’s just not that into youlol..right? I love it! ummm did you just quote a movie title? lol..

See, I think posing that question is a cop out for so many reasons. I could understand if we haven’t known each other for over a year. But, if we’ve been going on dates, sleeping together & driven through 3 states together, shouldn’t he already know what I bring to the table? Lastly, when he mentioned what he brought to the table, he only noted material possessions & made no effort to highlight his characteristics or qualities. This act alone is evidence he lacks real character, I mean, does he really think a road trip & breakfasts at Denny’s is a significant contribution to my table? Those are mere table scraps in a relationship, those are appetizers, they aren’t entrees, & they won’t keep you full throughout a relationship. Although a serial dater, I am not dating expert & I lack the answers to my questions.  I tried to stay hopeful, that maybe this time around Bub & I could make it work. But, the question, the sex, the shortness- all amounted to me being OVER IT! And the funny thing about it all, when he text to ask if I was mad at him, I explained I wasn’t mad just a little hurt, his reply “Sorry I text you” LOL, so yea you’re still a douche...I guess it’s true what they say, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks! 

Single & Driving Under the Influence

We’ve all done it! If you haven’t done it, then I’m extremely proud of you!

Well, my experience is no different than the masses:

Too much to drink. Partying way too hard & the overwhelming need to be in your “OWN” bed, which is 35 miles east of your current drunken debauchery.

Now, there are some & I mean some, as in a very few, who actually do the responsible thing: Stay & Lay, sober up & only drive once they’ve found their nose. lol.

But, I can admit & have no shame in admitting, that I HAVE DRIVEN DRUNK, not only once, not just twice & it’s well beyond three times. My logic? Well, every time you drive drunk you reaffirm your “drunken” confidence & it’s as if you have super hero powers that immediately improve your driving ability HA! NOT!

Studies show that most first time offenders have driven drunk at least 80 times prior to their first conviction. (http://www.madd.org/laws/law-overview/Draft-Ignition_Interlocks_for_all_Offenders_Overview.pdf)

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DRIVEN DRUNK? I wont lie here, I can’t quantify my drunk driving experiences, but I  can say that I wasn’t always “SH!T FACED” There were times :

  • I was just a little tipsy from 2-3 cocktails at dinner.
  • I had a drink at a friends & then left to go home.
  • I woke up drunk & had to go somewhere.
  • I had a little happy hour w. my coworkers but felt sober.
  • I had a glass of wine or 2 at home & then drove to the local store just 1 block away.

The possibilities are endless, it only takes one drink to be inebriated & if you make just 1 mistake while driving under the influence, you may possibly alter your entire life & the lives of EVERYONE INVOLVED.

By no means is this blog post an attempt to glorify my past experiences or even make excuses for my mistakes. More than anything, I’m facing my reality! This is my story:

“I found myself pounding more drinks in 2 hours than I had in the 12 hour drinking binge. Next, it’s time to go & my friend will not allow my suitor to take us to breakfast. Which I later found to be kinda effed up & I still find myself questioning everything, what if we went to breakfast, what if i could sober up, what if I had that extra hour & a half to get my life together? Oh well! It didn’t happen, but what did happen, was I dropped her off at her house & she found it in her drunkenness to question my driving ability  “Are you okay to drive?” Hmmm,  I later found out I said “Yes” and immediately proceeded to vomit out the door following my answer. I’m not sure about you, but had that been my friend, I would have immediately suggested you sit this one out! Oh well! She didn’t! I left! I made it half-way home till I found myself spinning outta control on the freeway and later hoping the other vehicle was okay! DAMN!”

Yes, that’s my story! I literally worked 12 hours that day & found time to drink within that 12 hour binge, all in celebration of Thanksgiving. Kinda Ironic, I wanted to drink to celebrate being thankful & hours later I was  just thankful to be alive & not be a murderer! And, I’d like to point out that statistically, Thanksgiving takes 1st place prize when it comes to drunk driving fatalities & New Years Eve closely follows.(http://dui.lifetips.com/cat/61352/drunk-driving-facts-stats/index.html) Who would of thought!

I’ve been charged, convicted, fined & ordered to attend Drivers Safety, AA & MADD! It’s not the most ideal of situations nor is it flattering especially once the the reality sets in & you realize you’ve lost your license, totaled your car, and immediately doubled your insurance, you can’t do anything more than PUSH.  I’m still forced to work, go to church, deal with family & friend all while I just try be single & exist!

This DUI has really killed my dating life, it’s hard dating multiple men while not  having a vehicle to drive. I’ve found some of my men to be understanding & willing to work with my “drivinglessness” but, it’s hard when I’m so accustomed to being I N D E P E N D E N T & F R E E!

So, as I count the days till I’m back on the road, I don’t forget to count my blessings & appreciate the opportunity I have to rectify my situation & make things better.

DON’T DRIVE DRUNK!

XOXO

LANA

FITSLANA HAS MOVED

HEY ALL

 

I STARTED A NEW BLOG AT FITSLANAFITNESS.COM

 

 

http://fitslanafitness.com/

 

 

 

Official Photos

Here you go:

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25 Best Quotes From Toddlers And Tiaras [Gallery]

This is too cute…

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